A Return to Childhood

I spent the weekend with our son's family and found myself returning to the spring days I remember from the 1950s. Electronic devices were left behind as we explored the walking trails at Elcona Country Club in Bristol, IN.  The boys ran and explored the five mile trail system which is part of the partnership our son, Greg, has established with the Audubon Society in his role as Golf Course Superintendent.

Greg encourages club members to use the trails all year for sledding, cross country skiing, running, and hiking. He posts maps and more information on his blog, Rub of the Green, where members get updates on efforts being made at Elcona Country Club to be responsible for and appreciative of the environment. Kudos to the superintendent and board at this country club for their forward thinking that allows current and future generations to enjoy timeless traditions on protected land.

What Inheritance Will You Pass On?

“Every one of us receives and passes on an inheritance. The inheritance may not be an accumulation of earthly possessions or acquired riches, but whether we realize it or not, our choices, words, actions, and values will impact someone and form the heritage we hand down.”

My neice, Julie, and her daughter Gabi, share a common interest in raising money to support the Best Buddies Program helping people with intellectual disabilities. For the past two years they have been riding together--mother and daughter-- in the Hyannis Best Buddies Challenge. This year Gabi, alone, has raised $1450 in pledges for the 50 mile race. If you'd like to support Gabi or want to know more,  go to  Gabi's Best Buddies page.

I ride because I have seen firsthand the power of this program at my school. It has created bonds that I treasure and memories that will surely last beyond my high school years.

Gabi Sears

As my husband and I review portfolios and begin our  retired lifestyle, we are hard put to match the value of the inheritance Julie has passed to Gabi and Gabi will  pass to another young person through her example of selfless service.

2013 Running with the Torch

The generations of living things pass in a short time, and like runners hand on the torch of life. 

Lucretius

I never particularly considered myself to be a torch bearer, but rather a runner behind another who bears a noble torch. If I am to lead, let me be remembered as one holding high a torch representing all that nature brings to the soul. And let me prepare my sons and grandsons to take it from me when the time is right.

Choosing Our Heroes

Nice Guys Finish Last. I'd like to amend this adage. I grew up playing tennis in the Arthur Ashe era. I watched him confront race barriers with dignity, felt proud when he served our country in the armed forces, and mourned his loss when he succumbed at a young age to the AIDS virus contracted from a tainted blood transfusion during open heart surgery. From the age of 13 or so, whenever the question of idols came up, Arthur Ashe was my ready answer. I certainly went through the usual variety of fleeting pre-teen/teen interests: Tab Hunter, bad boy Fabian, or any number of Mouseketeers to name a few, but none endured like Arthur Ashe. No one came close.

 So, how is it that we choose our heroes during the impressionable years? I picked someone I might have been comfortable meeting. I would have done anything for a chance to talk to Arthur Ashe about things that count. We would have talked about tennis, and I know he would have given me good advice about the tough issues that accompany maturing and setting goals. In retrospect, I was fortunate to have chosen strength of character and vision for qualities to look for in a hero. I think I understood what mattered, a legacy from my parents that I hope will live on in my grandchildren as they look for someone to emulate in their impressionable preteen years. I’m sure my parents shook their heads, as I do now, when I survey the options of media-touted idols that range from honorable to flagrantly outrageous.

I hope my grandsons will eventually understand that nice guys not only finish, but they last. Arthur Ashe's programs for kids endure to this day through the Arthur Ashe US Open Kids’ Day; his influence seems to have no shelf life. Tab Hunter, Fabian, where are they now?

Play 60...Who's Counting?

As our younger son shares pictures of his recent hike up Half Dome in Yosemite National Park and our older son continues to find mud from his first Tough Mudder this weekend, it seems our generation raised children who still don't need to be reminded to Play 60. They are wonderful models for their children, who play without watching a clock.

How Do Our Children Define Wealth?

I recently followed a posting on Arrows Sent Forth that asked readers to comment on the merits of trips to theme parks vs national parks. Certainly the status and glitz of the big theme parks scream wealth to a child. In sharp contrast, I spent last week working with a team from Plainfield United Methodist Church in one of the most poverty ridden areas in the country, Frakes, KY.

I was as overwhelmed by the beauty of the setting as any child entering Disneyland. This begs the question: how do we teach our children to measure wealth?

Road Trips...Then and Now

                The Merrillville Gas Station story is urban legend in the Shaffer household and gains more popularity with each retelling. I think it’s the strong connection to the Griswold family vacations that gives the story its listening appeal.

                When the boys were in their elementary/middle school years we traveled to Chicago frequently to visit my husband’s mother. My husband approached these trips with all the focus of a road rally contest.  It was all about making good time. We (actually the boys and I) had a tradition to make traveling in the car easier on everyone. Every time we stopped, usually every three hours whether we needed a break or not, we would rotate seats. This meant that I only sat in the front seat for 1/3 of any trip. My husband always drove even though I offered to give him a break. Hmmm…wonder why!

                On the Chicago road rally challenges we made one stop: the gas station in Merrillville, just before connecting to the toll road to Chicago. On the occasion of the infamous event the boys and I hopped out to use the restroom, ever mindful of the rally time. I left from the front seat and would return to the back when we resumed. Our younger son would ride shotgun. When I finished in the restroom I couldn’t turn off the faucet when I washed my hands, so I stopped at the counter to tell the gentleman about the problem. The boys headed to the car.

                When our younger son got in, my husband took off. Someone was in the front and he assumed all were in their proper places per road rally stop time regulations.Thanks to reminders from the boys, the road rally was put on hold while my husband turned the car around to go back for me. 

                Traveling with children can be challenging and complicated, especially now when this generation doesn't have the option of rotating children to the front seat. The exuberance and optimism that marks the starting point can often be replaced with stony silence and impatience as the trip progresses. Fortunately, I have discovered a fun website that seems to be getting some attention these days (for good reason). Arrows Sent Forth provides some practical advice about places to go and things to see and do with children. I like it for two reasons: it's a good resource for parents and grandparents, and the author is one of my former students. I can trust both her and her suggestions.