Dairy Queen Days

When our boys were growing up, we had a wonderful family dog who loved to ride in the car. The fact that we stopped at the Dairy Queen after we adopted her, to celebrate with ice cream cones all around, probably forged her early connection to car riding and happy events. At any rate, she was always up for a ride in the car. Unfortunately for her, sometimes our rides took us past the Dairy Queen to the vet’s office. These were two vastly different destinations: one anticipated, the other-not so much! Yet she never balked at an invitation to ride in the car. To her, all trips were Dairy Queen opportunities, and, if once in a while she was disappointed when the car stopped at the vet’s, she was willing to take that risk rather than miss a trip to the Dairy Queen.

My husband and I just returned from two days with our 4 month old and 4 year old grandsons. We spent the night with them while their parents had a well deserved overnight break. For these little ones, every day is a Dairy Queen day and begins at an hour retirees only see on the PM clock. They don't want to waste a minute at either end of the day. Kudos to all parents who are raising their children to anticipate Dairy Queen days while equipping them to bounce back optimistically from anything less.

Campaign Songs for Everyone

The recent discussion about the 2008 presidential candidates' selections for campaign songs makes me wonder if each of us might benefit from selecting a campaign song, so to speak, for our own lives: a song that would reflect our vision and speak to our values. It would be interesting to see if song choices divide out by generations. Could I find a title from the 21st century, or would I stick to the classic oldies? Would my kids go back to the Beatles or find a better fit with a song from a current artist? This discussion has the makings for a good party game.

And what if, like some candidates, we changed songs as our life circumstances changed? Would we be considered fickle or shallow for giving up on the values by which we hoped to be defined? Or even more interesting, would we be considered fickle or shallow for selecting new songs that reflect what others want us to be?

Is There an Age Limit for Parental Imprinting?

Recently my daughter-in-law called to tell me our eight week old grandson had begun sleeping through the night. She added that her pediatrician indicated there is some speculation that infants adopt the sleep habits of their parents. My son, daughter-in-law and their older son all go to bed early and sleep well, so it makes sense that the new little guy will do the same. After all, what else is there to do when everyone else is in bed and the house is quiet?

The concept of imprinting is interesting. My own writing career has now expanded to include both sons in overlapping projects. Is it possible there is no age limit on parental imprinting? That's an unsettling thought. Or even worse, do imprinted traits lie dormant until some triggering event calls them out in one big family wave?

2008 New Year's Resolution: No Changes, Please.

I resolve that a legacy of 37 years will endure and make its mark on 2008: no changes please! As I replaced my desktop image to the latest family picture today, I discovered a template which I am determined to use for my remaining New Year's Eve resolutions: a .jpg image of 3 generations of Shaffers.

My MAC can do amazing things, but its flat screen can't possibly do justice to what lies inside a loving father and husband of 37 years, two grown sons-successful in their careers and relationships, and two grandsons who will reap the rewards of this legacy, if we allow it to endure through their maturation.

Somethings cannot be changed for the better. I resolve to look back and linger in the best moments of parenting and marriage that will, I suspect, survive and transcend any misguided efforts at improvement.

We All Need "Yes, You Can" Friends

A first effort at hiking part of the Appalachian Trail in North Carolina taught me an important lesson about the value of the "Yes, you can!" people in our lives. In preparation for this 7 day trip, I enrolled in cardio boot camp and strength conditioning classes at my local rec center. My (young) fitness instructor's favorite motivational expression was "Yes, you can!" We heard it over and over as we perspired, and groaned, and pushed ourselves to exhaustion. The day I left to go to North Carolina to begin my hike, one of the class members gave me a card. The envelope read "Save for some time when you think you can't go on."

Despite a fall that sent me to the emergency room and a one-day rest , I didn't open the card; I thought things could always get worse. So, I saved the card until the last day when we left the trail to come home. It was a beautiful handmade card with a design that said "Yes, You Can!" The inside was signed by the class, many of whom had written inspirational thoughts. Why, oh why did I save that source of encouragement when I could have savored it and used it countless times along the trail? Why are we so stubbornly resistant to help?

Each of us has special people in our lives who believe in us, even when our goals and efforts seem off center to others. We need to hear their voices shouting "Yes, you can!" in our heads as our own doubts and less than helpful comments from others threaten to derail us. Cling to those treasures. Count on them to be on your side as you plan your next challenge, and your next, and your next. Challenges lead to rewards like the view at sunrise from the Fontana Dam Shelter in North Carolina.

Do They Really Want to Hear My Voice?

Whose voice is heard by middle grade readers in their choice of fiction? Again,the problem of colliding generations surfaces. As a classroom teacher, I was always on the lookout for fiction that would engage preteen readers immediately, but would offer opportunities for meaningful discussion: the kinds of literature that, when selected by young people for their own personal reading, would have an enduring message subtly forged by action and realistic dialogue.

So, how does an occasionally croaky-voiced grandmother write fiction like that? Personally, I have found a satisfactory solution by breaking one of the cardinal rules of writing; I ask my son to read the work and "today it up." It's interesting that the very contrast in lifestyles that polarized us during his teen years, now brings our worlds together. He teaches me words like blogosphere and legit. In return, I teach him that age has nothing at all to do with chasing dreams.

Baby Boomers and Blogs

Can (or should) a retired teacher and juvenile fiction author seek entry to the blogging world? At a writing conference last spring, presenter Tom Britt assured me that, indeed, I would be welcomed in this arena. So here we are at the meeting of two diverse worlds. I'm reminded of the commercial for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that aired several years ago: chocolate and peanut butter, two separate tastes coming together in an accidental meeting that opened the door to unexplored opportunities.

We'll see what comes of this new meeting. Some of you will find courage to jump in. You'll be challenged to top this early effort in your own inaugural blog thinking, "Surely I can do better than that!" Others of you will be confirmed in your resolve to stay out of places you don't belong.

If nothing else, I hope you'll visit A Summoning Stone's website. That one is a little more sophisticated and offers classroom teachers, as well as juvenile fiction readers some free downloads and great information!