Imprinting is for Moms, Too

"He's just like his dad!" But what about his mother? It seems awkward to say a boy is just like his mother, so are the mothers of sons destined to have their genetic contributions go unrecognized?

Our younger grandson, ready to start kindergarten, has taken to diving just like his mother, a gymnast and diver. Perhaps Mimi and Pa have shared stories and pictures of Dia in her younger years. Or maybe Dia has videos from competitions that Parker has seen. Or maybe his talent emerges with a gentle nudge from his mother's genes. I'll acknowledge that, as the younger brother, he has to be more daring to play with the big boys, but his skill is the result of more than just reckless courage. No big belly smackers for him. He prepares, jumps, extends, and goes. 

Now where did a 5 year old get that? I say proudly "He's just like his mother!" Thanks, Dia.

Just Do It ...Right!

Nike almost got it right with their Just Do It slogan, but in my opinion, just doing it is not enough. Let's do it right!

As Camp Plainfield 2013 comes to a close, I recall a time 30 years ago when I watched my husband and our sons delve deeply into the time honored tradition of passing the torch.  Today, at 9 years old, our grandson, Dillon is eager to learn and try and do all the chores that accompany responsible adulthood. He wants to embrace Nike's advice and Just Do It! Good for him. It's his time.

Whether it's fixing bicycles or mowing the yard for the first time, adults do eager children, like Dillon, a disservice if they don't teach them to Just Do It Right! The first lessons are always the hardest. Pops pointed out missed spots on the grass, safety precautions for using tools, and all the other basics that provide an important foundation for developing a strong work ethic.

Like most overnight camps, Camp Plainfield is filled with fun activities and one on one time with adults who care enough to call children on cut corners or emerging bad habits. And children get that, despite the momentary inconvenience of do overs the first time around.

Dillon will puff his chest out a little farther as he tells his buddies about mowing the yard, using wood burning tools, and fixing bicycles. He knows how to do it right!

In another four years, younger brother Parker will be the main character in these pictures and he'll learn to do it right. It will be time for him to carry the torch.

SRSLY?

How do we go about selecting a grandparent persona? It seems logical that we would bring our best parenting strategies to the table, but Cory and I want to be selective about the ways we interact with our grandsons. We want to be remembered around the family dining table years from now through fun stories and traditions of our own as grandparents.

Our boys with their Grandma, Madge

Cory was going on a trip this week, so I took out his mother's famous molasses cookie recipe to make his favorite cookies to take on the road. As I looked at her handwriting, I decided we should be more like his mother when it came to having a special relationship with grandchildren. Madge Shaffer was highly educated in the Greek and Latin classics, yet she adapted to the changing times as she aged, without compromising what was important. She loved to make banana bread, apple dumplings, and molasses cookies for the boys and was current on the things that mattered.

She would never have texted in abbreviated form, gotten a tattoo, pierced anything, or used the current vernacular to be popular with the grandchildren. She didn't need to. She had the grandma persona thing down...homemade bread, jams, cookies, hand written notes, and a genuine interest in the lives of her grandchildren.

Fortunately, my son and daughter-in-law have established a very clear foundation with respect to behavior and manners, and Cory and I continue to model the traditions and upbringing that we passed to our sons, and they to theirs. With all of that hard work already in place, I think we're due some wiggle room to establish some Pops' house rules. For example, here it's okay to drink the milk or last of the melted ice cream from the bottom of the bowl like Pops does. The boys understand that's only okay here, and they share a little moment with Pops when they lift their bowls. So, we'll continue paying more than lip service to the values passed to us, while we let the boys share a quick wink over a tipped up bowl of ice cream. 

A Return to Childhood

I spent the weekend with our son's family and found myself returning to the spring days I remember from the 1950s. Electronic devices were left behind as we explored the walking trails at Elcona Country Club in Bristol, IN.  The boys ran and explored the five mile trail system which is part of the partnership our son, Greg, has established with the Audubon Society in his role as Golf Course Superintendent.

Greg encourages club members to use the trails all year for sledding, cross country skiing, running, and hiking. He posts maps and more information on his blog, Rub of the Green, where members get updates on efforts being made at Elcona Country Club to be responsible for and appreciative of the environment. Kudos to the superintendent and board at this country club for their forward thinking that allows current and future generations to enjoy timeless traditions on protected land.

What Inheritance Will You Pass On?

“Every one of us receives and passes on an inheritance. The inheritance may not be an accumulation of earthly possessions or acquired riches, but whether we realize it or not, our choices, words, actions, and values will impact someone and form the heritage we hand down.”

My neice, Julie, and her daughter Gabi, share a common interest in raising money to support the Best Buddies Program helping people with intellectual disabilities. For the past two years they have been riding together--mother and daughter-- in the Hyannis Best Buddies Challenge. This year Gabi, alone, has raised $1450 in pledges for the 50 mile race. If you'd like to support Gabi or want to know more,  go to  Gabi's Best Buddies page.

I ride because I have seen firsthand the power of this program at my school. It has created bonds that I treasure and memories that will surely last beyond my high school years.

Gabi Sears

As my husband and I review portfolios and begin our  retired lifestyle, we are hard put to match the value of the inheritance Julie has passed to Gabi and Gabi will  pass to another young person through her example of selfless service.

2013 Running with the Torch

The generations of living things pass in a short time, and like runners hand on the torch of life. 

Lucretius

I never particularly considered myself to be a torch bearer, but rather a runner behind another who bears a noble torch. If I am to lead, let me be remembered as one holding high a torch representing all that nature brings to the soul. And let me prepare my sons and grandsons to take it from me when the time is right.

Choosing Our Heroes

Nice Guys Finish Last. I'd like to amend this adage. I grew up playing tennis in the Arthur Ashe era. I watched him confront race barriers with dignity, felt proud when he served our country in the armed forces, and mourned his loss when he succumbed at a young age to the AIDS virus contracted from a tainted blood transfusion during open heart surgery. From the age of 13 or so, whenever the question of idols came up, Arthur Ashe was my ready answer. I certainly went through the usual variety of fleeting pre-teen/teen interests: Tab Hunter, bad boy Fabian, or any number of Mouseketeers to name a few, but none endured like Arthur Ashe. No one came close.

 So, how is it that we choose our heroes during the impressionable years? I picked someone I might have been comfortable meeting. I would have done anything for a chance to talk to Arthur Ashe about things that count. We would have talked about tennis, and I know he would have given me good advice about the tough issues that accompany maturing and setting goals. In retrospect, I was fortunate to have chosen strength of character and vision for qualities to look for in a hero. I think I understood what mattered, a legacy from my parents that I hope will live on in my grandchildren as they look for someone to emulate in their impressionable preteen years. I’m sure my parents shook their heads, as I do now, when I survey the options of media-touted idols that range from honorable to flagrantly outrageous.

I hope my grandsons will eventually understand that nice guys not only finish, but they last. Arthur Ashe's programs for kids endure to this day through the Arthur Ashe US Open Kids’ Day; his influence seems to have no shelf life. Tab Hunter, Fabian, where are they now?